Category Archives: self-development

How to make rejection sexy


“Never love anybody who treats you like you are ordinary” Oscar Wilde

No doubt about it, rejection is the worst feeling in the entire universe. However, since I am a positive-spirit-bliss-junkie at my core, I always try to dig deep and find the positivity and soul lessons in every situation. In regards to rejection from someone you love, the positive outcome I have learned is humblesness and the ability to raise your standards.

If you are going through rejection it is a perfect time to RAISE YOUR STANDARDS.

Why? Because somebody with high standards in love and life would only allow divine love from someone who wants to be with you as badly as you want to be with them. You deserve to be met in love, cherished, and held onto. If someone can let you go and risk losing you into a world of 7 billion people then  now is the time to raise your standards. Raise the bar. You seriously deserve the world and your perfect vibrational match, not someone who can live with out you.

You are worth the highest form of love you could ever imagine. If you have trouble excepting that thought then you need to take this time to work on your self worth and value. (And by work I really just mean drop all the false beliefs about yourself, as you are a perfect extension of source energy right now). Also people with high standards are fucking sexy. Period. They know what they are worth and they never settle. Be one of those people. 

Use rejection as fuel to catapult yourself into a whole new world of higher standards. Start making your shoulds a must. Raise your standards in work, fitness, friendship, spirituality and start creating your next relationship based on your self worth. Start remembering that you came to this Earth to experience contrast. Once you know what you do not want, move on!

Be grateful for the clarity you now have about what you would like in your next relationship. Let go and trust that the Universe will bring you something even more amazing. The Universe has your back and is aligning everything perfectly for you. Your only job is to recognize that you are worth it.



Why being Spiritual makes you sexier


Yes, it is true! Being spiritual makes you a sexier person. If you have ever wondered how you can be more attractive, fun, light-hearted, deep, passionate, and insanely sexy and  beautiful at the same time then maybe it is time to try a more spiritual approach to life. All that suffering, mind-chatter, worrying, obsessing, and needing people to love you really is not sexy. Sexy is being in your power, aligning with your highest self, nurturing yourself and then others,  feeling confident and grateful for your life,  thinking more deeply, trusting yourself and the unfoldment of your life, loving your body, and being authentically vulnerable.

How to move from  a needy/unsexy to a trusting/sexy approach to life:

Now, let me get clear. I think it is fine to need people, to depend on people, and to want to have solid people in your life. However, I do not think it is okay to place your entire identity and purpose of life on those whom you choose to be in a loving relationship with. You see, we are all on a spiritual journey on this planet, and as hard as it is to grasp there really is nothing permanent here. No matter how amazing, solid, and perfect the love you find here is the truth is in time it will dissolve, transform, and transition on into something new (in this life or after the life). People die, change, get injured, get dis-eased, and break-up everyday. It is a difficult planet to be on  sometimes. As much as we want to cling to others to distract us from acknowledging that we are here alone on our own spiritual journey, we need to start learning ways thrive in a relationship with ourselves first.  Then we can go out and create true-lasting love (not needy/ destructive love) with others.

The second we choose to adore, love, cherish, and create an amazing life with ourselves, the universe will start bringing you people who can love, adore, cherish and create with you. If our outer world is truly a mirror of our inner world, lets start doing the work people! If you are wanting, needing, hoping, wishing for a relationship *(or anything in life), take some time to self-reflect and notice where you are not feeding yourself what you are seeking on the outside. As I said before, needy love is not sexy. Take some time to develop your spiritual side, your philosophical side, and your independent side. That is what is sexy. That approach to life is what will draw lovers, friends, and amazing people into your life who will stay.

One way to not get caught up with obsessing over the physicality of a lover is to remember that we all come from the same Source energy. We are all sparks of Light with a pure divine essence. When we realize that we love the divine essence of a person, we can remember that we are that essence too. Even if that person leaves us, abandons us, or betrays us we must not get caught up in the physical obsession of that person.

We must remember that we are all divine lights here on Earth to learn lessons to experience spiritual growth. It is so easy to get feeling needy and hopeless over the wanting of one physical person’s love. As we all know, that is the furthest thing from sexy love. We must remember the lessons we signed up for on this planet. We must take a more cosmic approach and realize that everyone is playing the perfect role they need to play in our lives. Everyone is being exactly who they need to be, therefore we don’t need to obsess of fixate on anyone more than ourselves. We came from love, we are love, and we will return to love. So lets focus on that, and get a little sexier everyday we do.   🙂


How to give up the “how to” in manifesting

Yes, I realize that most of my blogs begin with a “how to” title. Yet, I am here to tell you now how to drop the “how to’s” out of your life when you are trying to attain a goal or attract some magic into your life. How many of you have ever said ” I know what I want, but I have no idea how to make it happen.” Most of us right? Well instead of playing the old mental war game of driving yourself nuts figuring out how to get from point A to point B, may I suggest a different approach?

This new approach would be to acknowledge where you want to be, visualize your goal, feel what it will feel like to get there and then completely surrender the how. I know it sounds crazy and even lazy, but listen! I am not suggesting that you create a goal and then do nothing to act on it. I am suggesting that once the vision is created, step back and see what shows up to get you on your path. Trust me! Opportunities will show up in such perfect alignment that you will have no choice but to jump and take action. You see the universe is always on our side, and once we know what we want it will set up the most beautiful synchronicities  to get us going in that direction. Now instead of figuring out the “how to”, we just have to get out of our own way, be open to receive inspiration/direction/connections and all the other magical synchronicities that will show up. Trust me, they will show up.

In today’s world everything we do is so masculine, its go go go-don’t stop till you get it. I indeed can vouch and say this approach works most of the time. Yet,  the surrender approach is just more fun and expansive. Instead of putting a cap on our manifestation’s and how they can show up, we now get to say ” I want to be over here, but if there is something greater that will show up- please show me that Universe.” Of course, this surrender process takes trust in yourself and trust in the magical workings of the Universe. You may have to do some work on yourself around learning to trust the workings of the Universe, and trusting yourself as a conscious creator. Yet,  once you can get to the point of  full blown trust and surrender you will be creating from a relaxed, confident, curious, and playful state. It is from this state that true magic can happen, as we have surrendered what exactly we think that magic should look like and how it should get appear. That, my friends, is truly living and co-creating.  Go ahead, give it a whirl 😉

this article was inspired by my lovely friend Lisa Turner ( )

how to be a spiritual badass

I said it and meant it. You can be spiritual and be a badass at the same time.  What on Earth am I talking about? I am talking about how much self-discipline, self improvement, and self work it takes to reach this awesome title of a spiritual badass. You know how some people just seem to have all the luck? They just seem to manifest anything they want, create anything, look great, and have a fabulous life all the time? Well, I think I am one of those people. From the outside I do have a seriously amazing life and existence. However, it takes work to keep a positive outlook on life and it takes dedication and commitment to create and go after your dreams. If you are already one of these people, congratulations you are a badass! If you are not there yet but want to be one of those annoyingly, lucky, awesome, and magical beings then keep reading.

I live my life by the phrase “positive things happen to positive people”. To me nothing is more obvious about how the universe works than this phrase.  I know you can relate to the opposite of this. You know those horrible days where nothing seems to go right? One thing after another just collapses your whole day to shit and you can not seem to change the flow? If we take a step back and separate from the pissed off emotions we are exuding at the universe, we can see that this is just an energy we are “stuck” in. When we choose to hold onto this “bad day” energy we continue to radiate out negativity to the universe until everything that can possibly go wrong with our day, will. Why do we do that? Well sometimes we like to stay in our dark, sad, depressed state and feel sorry for ourselves. Sometimes we like to give our power away and feel helpless and disempowered. Yet, sometimes we just need the tools and the awareness of how to channel our own inner bad ass and create something different. This is where the work comes in.

Anyone can be awesome.. We all have the same ability to radiant, succeed, create, and live magically. Yet the people that can take the negative parts of life, and turn them into something positive are the true badasses on the planet. Like in a poker game, anyone can deal and feel great about a good hand. Yet, the ones that can deal with the shitty hands, turn it around, and create out of left field magic are the people to be inspired by. These are the people that own their shit, check themselves, remember who they are and take control of their lives. These are people who choose to stop being victims and start taking responsibility for what they are creating in this world. This takes a high level of self awareness and the commitment to grow into the person you know you are capable of being. This takes looking deep into your self and asking yourself why are you creating this? Why do you continue to attract the same abusive boyfriend? Why do you choose to keep beating yourself up about your weight? Why do you continue to hate your mother for the way you are?Why do you continue to manifest unemployment? I don’t know why but stop it! Start getting inspired to change your life because you can!

Start being inspired to be awesome. It can be hard, it can be painful, and it can be dark but what we become after the work is limitless. We no longer have to hold ourselves back from our dreams. We do not have to hold onto hatred and regret towards those that betrayed us and held us back. We realize that we have the power to change who we are, we have the power to create a beautiful life, and we have the power to feel the way we want to feel. Don’t like something in your life right now? Do something about it. Take responsibility for creating it in the first place and then do the steps to change it. You have support. I have lots of bad ass spiritual friends that love and support me to drop all the bull shit and start being amazing. Once you choose to do the same you will attract  bad ass friends that will encourage you do be your ultimate bad ass self. I am your friend and I am telling you that you are awesome and worth it! So go ahead, drop the garbage and start being more bad ass.

three easy ways to shake insecurity

We have all been there. Those thoughts of insecurity creeping in your brain and destroying any possibility of a happy thought you may want to think. The funny thing is everyone on the planet thinks the same exact same insecure thoughts. These are the thoughts that repeat loudly in our head and say; I am not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough, motivated enough, skinny enough, qualified enough etc. They all trace back to this concept of enoughness. Yet, what is enough really and who is setting this incredibly high bar that none of us can meet? I have said this before and will say it again. We only limit ourselves. We truly do. The outer world responds to the inner world we are creating. If we are thinking insecure thoughts we are sending a frequency out the the world that says “I am not good enough”. Is it true? Are we really not good enough? Of course not! Yet, does the world meet us where we are at vibrationally? Yes, it does. Ok, great. How do we fix this when we can not seem to switch these negative thoughts to positive uplifting thoughts. Well here are a few things I do.

1.) Sit down, breathe and channel gratitude. When you just can’t seem to get off the downward spiral of negativity just take a time out. Take 5 minutes to sit and breathe. Let all these thoughts pass through your head like clouds. Think of everything in your life you are grateful for and focus on what you do have going on for you. Gratitude is a powerful vibration and can change our mood quickly if we allow ourselves to feel it. Trust me, there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for, even on the darkest day.

2.) Write it down. Take a pen and paper and write down every single horrible thought you are thinking about yourself, and then right the exact opposite of that thought. Start to make a list of positive affirmations based off your negative affirmations. Then take a minute to look into the mirror and say them out loud. It may be difficult at first but you can do it. You are intelligent, beautiful, abundant, strong, powerful, lovable enough! We just have to train our brain to start thinking that way, we have to reverse our conditioning and our self criticism. It takes work, it is not easy. Yet, the payoff is that we learn who we truly are by dropping what we are not.

3.) Channel your inner DIVA. Beyonce, Christina Aquilera, Alicia Keys, Rihanna….anyone that sings about owning yourself, your soul, and all that goodness you got going on. These are powerful women, like them are not, who give a message of  ”Take me as I am, I am worth it.” So find out what musician/poet/writer inspires you and turn to their lyrics for a little boost of confidence. Music has a magical way of penetrating our soul, shaking up our mood, and clearing negativity out of our body. So turn on the tunes and crank it up!Feel it baby, you are f***ing incredible and whoever doesn’t see that BUH-BYE! ;)

Try to remember these tips next time you are down. Just because you are having a bad day does not mean you have to stay there all day and wallow in your sorrows and self doubt. No way. Find your inner strength to clear these inner lies we tell ourselves. Start affirming your awesomeness, and if you just can’t seem to feel your own awesomeness then start by admiring someone else’s. How we view others is a reflection of how we view ourselves. Go ahead, admire others peoples success, beauty, love, talents, and fame then sit back and feel them inside of you. You are more than enough, start affirming it! I like the way my friend Tia phrases her worth. She says; “I am worth it all and I am f***ing priceless”! TRUE, TRUE, TRUE! Own it!!!!



How to figure out what to do with your life

Have you ever thought this? What on Earth am I going to do with my life? Most likely everyday if you are someone who has been seeking and searching for that perfect something to make their life feel complete, fulfilled, and on track. Well the good news I can bring is, you do not have to know nor will you ever know what you are going to do with your life. The first step is figuring out what are you going to do NOW! NOW is actually all we have. What we are doing now, will take us to the rest of our life. So how to we stop the frantic worrying of this “rest of our life fairytale illusion?” Well we have to start with what do we like to do NOW. Today. Here are a few tips on how to starting figuring your life NOW, and not later.

Waking up:

What is the first thing you like to do when you wake up? Is it wake up dreading to go to work, or praying to the time gods to give you 5 more minutes? What if you were able to wake up and tell yourself that this is going to be an amazing day. Today I am going to kill it. Today is my day. How we start our morning is how we set the bar for our day. If we wake up refreshed, well slept, positive and optimistic, our day is more likely to succeed than not.  Instead of waking up wishing things were different, or dreaming of the day you have it figured out..start waking up 20 minutes earlier and writing down some positive affirmations, or goals you are working towards. Start making time to breathe, stretch, take a walk and make some healthy food. Louise Hays says how we start our day is often how we live our lives. She also says “An affirmation is a beginning point. It opens the way. You are saying to your subconscious mind:I am taking responsibility. I am aware that there is something I can do to change.” So going ahead. I dare you. Start waking up and saying positive things to yourself and see if anything changes. You really have nothing to lose but negativity. 

Moving your body:

If you are feeling stuck, sad, or depressed with where your life is, the best thing you can to is to move your body. Moving you body will move some of that stagnant energy out the door. So what, you are not where you wish to be with your life, career, or love life. Come back to the now. Acknowledge where you are. Make goals to succeed starting today and then go shake your booty! Go to a dance class, yoga, take a walk, go for a run, or just jump up and down for 5 minutes. Tell that stagnant energy to leave your body now and make room to receive new creative and inspiring energy. Go for a walk in nature and release all the energy you wish to leave into the Earth. Welcome in healthy change, opportunity and success. Make it a habit to move your body for 20 minutes a day and increase from there. Make daily goals to work out in some way or form, challenge yourself with your workouts and you will always feel some sort of accomplishment at the end of the day. Gauranteed.

Quit asking others, and trust yourself!

Quit asking others what they think you should do with your life. Take time to figure out who you are, what you like, and what you want to do with your life. Others can only project what they think is best for you, or what you may be good at. Yet, only you know what deep down would make you feel happy and satisfied doing. Start spending more time with yourself doing things you enjoy doing instead of following the crowd. Start to be your own individual and start creating your own life built around things you love. If you still have no idea what you want to do for work then at least start knowing what you want to do for fun, for excerise, for relaxation, for enjoyment. Work is just one part of the day. Start filling in the  other parts of activities, reading, pleasures that you enjoy for you.

Going to sleep with a vision:

Start going to bed with a vision of where you want your life going. If you still can’t figure out some of it, just start getting into a feeling of what it would feel like to know what you want to do. Start feeling what it would feel like to be successful, to be living a life you love, to be making good money doing what you want to do, to be in the best shape of your life, to be feeling happy with who you are. My aunt who is 54 years old still says to be all the time ” I don’t know what to be when I grow up”. I love when she says that, it reminds me as a 25 year old that it is okay not to know! We may never really know! All we can do is start with a morning, with a day, with a week filling it with things we love and that make up happy. Everything else will lead from there! Go on start making today the best day ever, and tomorrow even better.